Nine months of magic

Today my precious little girl is 9 months old. For me this is a special milestone, a balance point. Time to stop and ponder. She spent nine months inside my womb, forming, developing, growing and nine months inside our family, causing us to grow and develope together.

Every morning, waking up I see this amazing being, smiling to me with the most adorable smile!!! And this troublesome world transforms into a divine kingdom of light and kindness! And I only wish I could make this moment last and never let go the sentiment of utter love and fulfillment.

May be I’m getting old and sentimental. May be it’s because I’m more grounded, more aware of my feelings then I used to be when I had my elder sons. But I’ve never felt the transience of life so acutely as I feel it now. I wish I could seize those precious little moments and store them in my heart – this innocent gaze, full of love and trust, the smell of her fluffy head when it rests on my shoulder, this beautiful toothless smile, the touch of tiny fingers and peaceful snuffling while sleeping in my arms.

In those moments my soul is overwhelmed with tenderness and love, coupled with unexplainable fear, sadness and dismay. The sadness comes from realizing that this amazing period when my daughter fully and wholeheartedly trusts me, when she looks at me with awe and adoration, when she listens to every word and readily obeys everything I say will soon pass. And I’m so afraid that I won’t manage to be sufficiently sensitive, patient and loving to fill her days with happiness and carefree enthusiasm to make her childhood that reservoir of positive experience and unconditional love that will help her withstand any life’s adversities when she reaches adulthood!

Yet, I am so eternally grateful and honored to be the mother of this little human being. There is no greater station in this world then being a mother! This “mushy happy lump” suddenly becomes your universe, sense of your existence, an answer to your prayers, divine confirmation and blessing!!! No words can describe that pulsating feeling of tenderness, thrill, gratitude and endless love which covers you wave after wave when you look at this angelic creature and realize that you were given a greatest gift and a greatest responsibility to cherish this pure soul and to help this tender sprout grow into a noble tree!

“O Thou kind Lord!  These lovely children are the handiwork of the fingers of Thy might and the wondrous signs of Thy greatness.  O God!  Protect these children, graciously assist them to be educated and enable them to render service to the world of humanity.  O God!  These children are pearls, cause them to be nurtured within the shell of Thy loving-kindness.” 

Thou art the Bountiful, the All-Loving.

‘Abdu’l-Bahá