I am 40 years old and I love it
Few weeks prior to my 40th birthday my elder son kept asking me how I feel about turning forty. And all I could honestly tell him was: “I feel cool, I feel calm, I feel absolutely normal about it!” No fear, no excitement, no anxiety, no heart palpitation, and most importantly, no regrets! They say when you turn 40 life only starts. I strongly object and say: when you turn forty life gloriously continues!
At certain age, don’t remember exactly when it happened, I stopped being excited about my birthday, I stopped celebrating it in any special way. I see it just as another year in my life journey towards self discovery. However reaching 40 is a certain milestone and I feel like pausing for a while and looking back at the path I have made so far. What this journey taught me? Have I discovered my true value, my authentic self in these years?
Oh yes! I did! I feel more centered, grounded, present then ever. I am in total peace with myself and with the world. I cherish every scar, every test, every victory, every failurile and every triumph I had and would not trade it for anything.
In these years I have learnt to listen to myself and to trust my values.
I have finally come to terms with my own personality and found the inner balance
I’ve learnt to make choices based on my true identity
I’ve learnt to say No to things I don’t want in my life without being afraid of public opinion
I’ve learnt to be honest to myself, clearly see all my shortcomings, but without falling into despair, on the contrary, being even more determined to be a better version of myself
I have realized how painful it is to see that I was the reason of most of my failures, but I learnt to see amazing healing power in being truthful to oneself
I have learnt to fight for my happiness and not wait until it miraculously happens to me
I have learnt that there are no miracles, yet, my power of transformation and desire to change can make wonders
I’ve learnt to accept the situation if I cannot change it and to let go of control
I’ve realized that in the moments of utter despair I come up with best solutions
I have learnt to value my time and energy and not to spend it on futile disputes, arguments or debates
I have realised that I am actually not educating my children, but rather my children and I are involved in a process of spiritual growth, where we learn from each other
I have realized that most of my frustrations came from groundless expectations and the only person I can expect to change is myself
I have finally grasped the words of Mahatma Gandhi: “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
I have eventually learnt to appreciate and to be grateful for everything life offers me.
They say: “If youth only knew, if age only could!!”
Well, now I feel that perfect balance when I want, I can and I know how!
I am 40 years old and I love it!!!